Its All About Me: Why Its Good to Be Selfish
I started thinking about this topic during a discussion of "What You Wish You Knew Then". People were talking about the differences in their lives once they discovered that what makes them happy is just as important as what makes other people happy.
It really is true...if you are not happy, then it's likely that no one around you is
happy. Sounds self-centered to some people, especially women, but it's not. And it
is not even close to Gordon Gecko's philosophy of "Greed is good."
Thomas Leonard, the founder of Coach University, said, "When you become truly
selfish, you'll have the extra reserves needed to really care about-and be generous
Think about it. When you truly take care of yourself, only then can you have the
reserves necessary to be generous with others. How many of us have this
backwards? We take care of everyone (and everything) else, and leave ourselves for
last. How can we even think about being generous with what we don't have to give?
For many of us, this phenomenon is a significant contributor to our stress levels.
And we're accomplishing great things in spite of our stress levels, so what's wrong
The obvious answer is burnout. We see it all around us. Friends, colleagues and
family members who are stuck in careers they don't want, in relationships that are
going nowhere, living lives they didn't choose-their gifts and talents going
underutilized, or being buried under the pile of "shoulds".
Perhaps the real benefit of becoming selfish is giving your gifts and talents room to
develop. "Gifts and talents need nourishment; they don't blossom fully without it. If
you've got a special talent or gift-and most of us do-become selfish for the sake
of that if you cannot bring yourself to be selfish for your own sake." (Thomas
We each have been given an incredible opportunity. I believe we all owe it to the
world to live the best life we possibly can. There's no point to doing otherwise. Are
you doing that? I know I'm not, but I am getting better at it. Maybe if each of us gets
a bit more selfish, we'll not only be living the lives we want and deserve, but being
more generous with each other and changing our world as we go.
Now the question is, "Where do I even begin to be more selfish?" Try scheduling
some time each week, when it really is "all about you"...and keep the appointment!
Time to read a book, take a bath, get outdoors, write in your journal (or work on
that novel)-whatever you need to do more of to take care of your self. You'll be
surprised how quickly you (and your friends and family) see a change.
Go ahead?make your self happy!
(c)2005 Barbara Bellissimo.
Barbara Bellissimo is a women's life transformation coach, and author of the book,
"Become Your Own Great and Powerful: A Woman's Guide to Leading Your Real, Big
Visit www.seasonsofsuccess.com">http://www.seasonsofsuccess.com to get her no-cost special
report--"Turn On Your Power and Lead Your Self to Greatness"--and her easy-to-
use tools and ideas for leading the real, big life you want--right now!