Just Learning To Cope
I have been thinking about this all night. I am realizing that there are more and more people dealing with anxiety. I have my opinions in regards to anxiety and I have written my own story in dealing with that. I am thinking of starting a support network for individuals and families dealing with this. Anxiety is debilitating. Anxiety begins with a fear that ends up an obsession. I personally think that anxiety is the result of feeling out of control. You are at a point where your life and world has now become out of control. It is to much for a person to handle and that is where your fear begins. I am no doctor but I know from experience if you have not experienced this you will never understand and you could not possibly. That is why I would like to start a support network. If you are dealing with it you need to be able to access someone who has dealt with it and know YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and I do believe this to be the biggest relief. Anxiety can be a result of feeling alone, a fear that becomes an obsession. I think everyone who has been through this will understand that simple sentence. I am going to give you some examples of anxiety and hopefully some tips.
My anxiety started when I felt out of control in my life and hopeless. Anxiety can and will lead to depression. I don't believe it always starts with depression though. I think depression is totally opposite or at least different and I don't really know much about that or how to control it. Anxiety can start from a feeling or fear of something, it can also be caused from a feeling of inadequacy. That possibly you can't live up to the standards of someone or the world. Maybe it is a fear of rejection, maybe a fear of loss, of control, a fear of not being good enough. The fear comes from believing that, and being alone in that thought. A lot of people worry. It is potent in our lives every, single day. If you know of anyone whom has never been worried, send them my way. I want to know their secret in living a 'worry free' life.
My personal fear, was the fear of death, and It still is to this day. I am now a Christian and I am a faithful one. Why would I fear death? I think I fear it the most simply because I don't feel my life or my purpose has been accomplished as of yet. But does not God know when my life has made a difference? Do I not trust in Him to lead my life and to take me home when the time is right for Him? If I am dedicating my life to God , To Jesus, then I should trust in Him to know what is best for me and my life. Only He knows. I think other fears about death are simple, not leaving the people l I love, maybe I feel there is things I am guilty of, and wonder whether I will be forgiven if those. Yes, if I died my family would be left behind for a moment, but if they be Christians, they shall be resurrected as me, so it is a momentary lapse in time and a moment without them. If I am guilty and harbor feelings of guilt then I need to be repenting of those. I Need to ask forgiveness and I will be forgiven. We belong to a Loving God. He loves each of us so very much. I am so thankful for that and we all should be. He is a patient God that waits for us patiently and with true love and an even bigger heart. I am so, so grateful for that. I know these things but this anxiety seems to overwhelm you to a point of distraction. I will tell you though this fear that becomes an obsession can be controlled in many ways. One is to have obsessive feelings. Now I know you are thinking what?? Obsessive feelings, yes obsessive feelings. Those obsessive feelings should be with God. Have an obsessive relationship with God. Well the world tells you to not be obsessive about things, even the bible tells you to not covet things, to not wish for things you don't have. We do have a relationship with God and Jesus, if you allow yourself to experience that it will lead you away from this and I promise you that. Be obsessive about God He wants you to be. Hold that relationship above everything else. People become obsessive in thoughts and actions with a lot of outside things. Maybe work, maybe family, home, money, status, materialistic things and even people, why not make your obsessive focus be on God?? If you put Him above all else, you will see your life take shape and change. I figured out my anxiety.
My fear that became an obsession is because of my inability to do that, I feel at times I can handle it by myself. I am not going to trouble God with every moment in my life there are so many people who need help with major issues, so many people who are at a loss in life they NEED to find God and He needs to help them. Well this maybe true, BUT I am not in control of my life, and when I am going through something, He wants me to depend on Him, if I don't that is a slap in His face. What am I saying, 'I can do it without you and I am more in control of my life than You'. I am also saying, 'I can handle it without you'. Well, what would make me think for a moment that my life is in anyway in my control, because when I have had (what seemingly) I felt was control over my life, it was a total disaster. God wants to be BOTHERED with the mundane. If you feel like you can't handle it turn to Him. You had better anyways or your giving control to someone or something else. If it is minor He wants to be bothered, He wants you to ask Him for advice. He wants you to be dependent on Him, and we should be. He created us, He loves us, above everything and everyone else. We all have the ability to have this very special relationship with God. Each of us is so special and so unique, do you not see that?
Anxiety, a fear that turns into an obsession. What are the symptoms: they can be minor, maybe feel a little anxious, everyone has felt that right, a little nervous, then with anxiety it gets a little more pronounced, maybe wow, I can't shake this feeling, maybe your head begins to hurt, but anxiety settles in your stomach, usually, it is a tightening, and it moves upwards, most of the time it centers (in the end) in your chest, that is why a lot of people feel they are having a heart attack. They feel that this is the end, and than your mind develops into a death thought and it becomes a vicious cycle. Just a thought, this anxiety ends up in your chest around your heart , why? It could end with a headache, or something else, arm pain, just a thought, but it centers in your chest around your heart, making you feel like you are having a heart attack, you are having feelings of doubt, worth, guilt, you are out of control in your life, you are out of control in your body, this is your wake up call and be glad for it. I feel this anxiety settles in your chest because you need to follow your heart, follow it back to God. You want to go through your life feeling like you have control just to feel yourself falling out of it again and again, go ahead. In the end when you are there and it is your time you are going to be asking help from someone whom has always been there, but you have decided not to have a relationship with Him, have turned away from Him, and you have nothing to offer in the end. You need to take a step. This is so weird because my aim was to talk about anxiety and once again I was led back to God with this story.
In every situation in life if you are out of control if you are engulfed in fear, it is because your life is not on track, somewhere you have lost your way. I am suggesting you find your spirituality and stick with it. For the past week and a half I have been having anxiety attacks, for the first two days, when it started it was bad. I felt I could handle it, I was determined not to go back on meds. I hate taking meds. but I also was trying to do it alone. I didn't need to bother God with that, oh yes I did. He wants to be apart of your life daily, through the exciting times to the mundane and when you are hurting and out of control that is when You had better look to Him, because no amount of medicine and therapy will heal your soul and you better believe that. God is the one looking out for you for eternity. He isn't going to give you a quick fix, a here and now moment of relaxation and stress free life, that comes from believing in Him, and knowing when you do leave this earth you are going to a wonderful, perfect place, where all your friends and family have gone before you. You will get to look upon the One who has loved you, your entire life. You will get to see the One who gave His life for you and did so with an innocent heart and you will be free of this disease.
Anxiety can grip you to the point of depression, it can also shut your body down. When I was first diagnosed, it was when I was having trouble in my life, my life was out of control, I felt hopeless, bad people don't get this, people who know they need something more in their lives, people who are reaching out for more get this and you need to look at it as a gift. I couldn't breathe when I had this, it would grip me and take hold and I couldn't function. It encased my life. It became an obsession. I didn't ever want to have an attack again. I never wanted to feel this out of control. It 'centers in your stomach, but it ends around your heart', believe me it ends "within your heart". It ends "within our soul", and your relationship with God and Jesus. I could go take medicine, that may control it for a moment, it may end for a long while, but in the end, medicine is not going to help me to Heaven, and God is the only cure that is lasting, ever lasting and eternal. God Bless You and keep you and may you find Him in good times and bad.
Thank you God, thank you Jesus.
I love you
I love you Bub
One more for You, My Creator, My Father, My Lord, My Savior...
Please allow me to continue your work through me...